Get a Bally!
We are all sold out, forever. Sorry.
Bally B. Basketball, the official mascot of The Mid-Majority, has been a coveted treasure on this site for years now. He's travelled from coast to coast, hung out with celebrities and pretty girls, inspired spinoff sites and a Facebook club, and drawn literally thousands of entries to TMM's weekly contests. Until this offseason, the only way to get your hands on Bally has been to be smart, crafty, or a ruthless eBay assassin (the first-ever auction in February fetched over $45 to help cover the site's expenses).
Our big-dreaming orange friend has already sold out in some ways, but now he's available in an "e-commerce" context. For the first time ever! In return for a $100 donation to this site's Season 7 Fund, you can have your very own basketball bundle of joy.
The following are Frequently Anticipated Questions ("FAQ").
Why so much? There's a recession economic downturn on! It's the same concept that guides PBS affiliates to sell tote bags for $65 and umbrellas for $90. The gift of Bally is a return for your donation in kind, and donated funds go towards keeping this site up, on the road, and keeping the new staff paid through the 2009-10 college basketball season. Also, much of the Bally-making process involves loving handcraft, so this is definitely not a mass-production type of situation. (Each one is sliiightly different.)
Can I buy, like, a million of them? In the spirit of Kyle's favorite record label Sarah Records, which shut down operations after its catalogue reached 100 singles, production of new Ballys will be discontinued when there are exactly one hundred in existence. After that, there will be no more Ballys made ever -- this is the type of retirement that maintains scarcity, not some Brett Favre/Jay-Z thing. As of July 2009, we are about 35 away from that number, so get one before they're gone "Forever" (Sarah 062, by The Rosaries).
Why is everything "100" around here? It's been our lucky number for years now.
Is this tax deductible or whatever? Just because this site has never turned an actual profit doesn't mean it's "non-profit." Not in the collective eye of the IRS, at least.
When will he arrive? After the spring rush and summer shortages, we're finally caught up on orders, and delivery time is 10-14 days! Soon after your payment is received, you will receive an e-mail ticket containing your Bally production number. Keep checking the banner graphic at the top of this site; when that number is equal to or higher than yours, Bally is on his way!
I won a Bally the hard way. Doesn't this cheapen my accomplishment? All Ballys produced before March 2009 have a production number of 29 or below (printed on the Bally Baggie™ he came in). If your Bally falls in this numeric range, you can rest assured that any time you find yourself in a Bally-Off™ with another owner, your low digits will identify your Bally as hard-earned instead of paid for. But really, why don't you get a second one? He looks lonely.
Does he talk? Are the rumors true? Yes, he says "boing!" (Pull the little white strip out first, though.)
Once again, thanks your your kind consideration, and for your continued patronage towards coverage of small-college Division I basketball. See you in November! (There'll be more cartoons too! Promise!)
-- Kyle
